I am struggling with image today. The monster is in my head complaining, screaming, angry and with it I feel my body expand in parts. Stomach, thighs, arms, cheeks. I know that it is impossible they are larger than they were yesterday by more than millimeters, but it feels like more than that. I call these days, "fat days". I have heard people without EDs talk about "fat days", and I wonder if it is the same. I want to hear that it is not. I want to hear that people without EDs don't cry about how they look. I want to hear that they have never felt a sudden expanding of their own flesh (an imaginary expanding). Yet, I have a feeling that is not true. Why do we spend so much time hating ourselves? Why do these feelings haunt me? How do you make it go away?
EATING DISORDER WARNING SIGNS
5 years ago
5 comments:
I'm intrigued: how would it help?- to know that "fat days" are different for folks without ED? How would it make things easier/better in your thoughts?
I love you.
Remember you were wondefully and beautifully made in the perfect image of God.
I think knowing there was another way out there is the main thing. I have trouble believe in a non-disordered life, so I wonder what it is like for those without a diagnosable ED. I want to get to the point that I am fully recovered, but I wonder if that means I will still have to deal with days like that. I want to know someone in the world loves the body God gave them because that means it is possible.
it is possible....I know many people that without a doubt love their bodies
I love the body God gave me. It is possible.
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