Being me

 I ache for my ED sometimes: I knew how to handle life when I was sick. I look back at my old journals and am astounded by the things I did... and as proud as I am to have overcome most of that:, I miss it. I felt "special" when I was sick. The truth, however, is when I was sick, being sick was all I had. Everything I did was defined by my ED. Everything I said was inspired by ED. Every breath I took was controlled by ED. I was ED. Now, as flawed and imperfect as I am, I am me. I may not love who I am, but I know being me is better than being ED.